Changed dreams


How exactly I ended up working at the school, in a place I used to say I would never work at?

When I was still in Australia, I started to think I actually want to work in something that has a meaning.
Even though I absolutely loved my job over there, I realized it is not exactly what I wanted.
I helped and guided in my job every kind of people, including kids, teens, and adults with special needs.
I also found a guy who was a personal trainer for special needs, kids, from Instagram, and I started following him. 

Something just clicked and I knew that what I really want is to work with people with any kind of special needs. Best, if they would be kids or teens.

Suddenly all the hard work with tourism was flushed away. I realized I had studied tourism for 7 years, and it was a field that I didn't actually want to work in. 

I thought I am crazy, how could I want something else just out of nowhere?

Tourism has always been close to my heart, already in primary school, I knew what I want to be, I knew that tourism was my thing and therefore I applied to the vocational school of tourism. After vocational school, I knew I wanted to continue my studies further and applied and got into a bachelor's degree in tourism. Studies that are still ongoing, because of that darn thesis.
You get the point, tourism was what I had always wanted. 
And I mean, I don't regret anything, because studying tourism was the way how I got to study in Singapore and do my internship in Australia.


But I was confused.
How could I just decide to do something else, when for so many years I knew I would become professional in tourism?

Being confused

I started to search for schools that would teach something related to special needs kids. Maybe teaching them, or in some other way helping them out.
I even found a potential school and course located near Brisbane, Australia, but I couldn't just start studying there because of the financial part.


When I came back to Finland I was confused.
What happened with the dreams that I had built?
Dreams to become a tour guide?
Work abroad?
In fact, the only dream that stayed the same was to work abroad. Studying and working in Finland didn't seem the best option.
In fact, Australia sounded the best possible option, I should just find a way to finance my studies.

But then came bushfires and coronavirus. And then, just like that again, life happened.

The decision to start working at school

"15 years old me would be laughing her ass off thinking of me working at school in the future."
In January 2020, I was in a training hall soon to be starting coaching my group of young athletes. I saw my ex-coach there, who just happened to say:
"Hey Katri, would you like to work in a school with special needs kids? As a teaching assistant. I would have a job offer for you. Let me know what you think!"
I didn't have more time to talk at that moment, but I can remember thinking that job offer for the whole period of coaching, and later that evening sent a follow up message to my ex-coach asking about the job.

It took me just a few minutes to think that job offer. I knew almost immediately I wanted to try it. It sounded like my dream come true. But I wasn't sure if I was ready to take that big step and try it. 

But from there on, asking for more information about working in school, everything happened extremely fast.
Suddenly I started my new job, just within a few days from the day my ex-coach asked if I'd be interested in that job.
But what I must say, 15 years old I would really laugh so much if she would hear that I started a job in school.

The present moment

Here I am, still, thankfully, working in the same school, with the same class. And I love what I am doing.
Of course, it sometimes gets tough, no denial about that. But overall, it gives me so much and I feel like I am doing a job that matters.
And this feeling is just something I cannot really explain. It is an amazing feeling, something I never really got in tourism (other than while I was in Australia). 
I feel like I am now doing what I really want, and that is something I thought I felt when I was younger. And maybe I felt that back then because then I didn't know about this job. I couldn't have even imagined working in something else than tourism.

It was my dream back then.
And now I have new dreams.

Life happens.
Your dreams change.
You change.
Everything around you changes.
It is ok to think again, and again, and again.
It is ok to change your study field, working field, and everything else.
Because we change.

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