Year 2018 in a nutshell
It is almost end of the year - well there is still Christmas before New Years, but because I am going to spend next 3 weeks (from Thursday) with my parents, I will take a break from blogging and be back the first week of January. ;)
It is time to recall what happened in 2018.
The dream, that I would throw at least 50m and compete in Finnish Championships was a totally realistic dream, as well as my dream to get a blue belt in Taekwon-Do.
But because of my back issue, my dreams never came true. And it all put me down so much, that I started to live a very unhealthy life. More about that later.
Since I was not able to do what I would have wanted to do, I decided to do something else.
I tried new sports, I even went to cross-country skiing after not doing it for over 10 years. I did some running (yeah, really), and I also did some coaching in TKD - and maybe involved myself a little too much in that one.
Within the first 4 months, I visited 3 different countries; one new continent, two new countries and one where I have been before. All traveling with friends.
January: Krakow, Poland.
March: Berlin, Germany. - Not only a travel, but actually visiting the travel fairs, so it was studying trip.
April: New York, US.
In some ways crazy to think, that this means that in 2018 I have traveled to 4 new countries.
June: Australia.
December: New Zealand.
A lot. Because suddenly I did not have daily training, so I had time.
I even met my online friend after just talking via the internet for 6 years. After all those years we finally met in Tallinn, Estonia. Sadly, we only had a couple of days, but I am sure we will meet again.
At the same time, I also met my friend who I have not seen for years!
One was the decision to travel to NYC, it was literally one of those "ohshit, there are return tickets with 300€. Let's go."
The second, the even bigger decision was to decline a job offer from my dream job, and instead of that travel to Australia. Who does that? I often thought like that, but definitely the best decision I have ever made.
Here I made that freaking awesome crazy decision to participate 8-week challenge at the nearby gym. That definitely was just a start to change my life. After that came the 10-week challenge, of course, I had to participate that one as well.
Oh did I mention, that one day I just out of nowhere decided to walk 40km in one day?
It just made me realize, that anything is possible.
It is possible to decide, that I am going to walk until I reach the destination, no matter how long it takes.
It is possible to run the last 3km to home because it was getting dark, even though my legs were hurting so freaking much.
Anything is possible if you believe in yourself.
BUT, in fact, I have done some nice little hammer throw drills at the gym. Good to know, that I have not totally forgotten how to do turns etc.
But what I mean with being back on track is, that as probably most already know, I was not able to do almost any sports until June.
This was not only lack of motivation and laziness, but this was also a rule from my doctor and physiotherapist.
I had to take a break, from all sports, to see if my back pain is the result of my sports or not. Obviously, it is not, but I did not know that back then, so we had to try everything.
So basically I started from zero in June. Physically and mentally. My motivation was zero, and also my physical levels were also nonexistent.
What about my eating habits? Haha, a big joke. Huge joke.
I had a breakfast (sometimes), a lunch (sometimes), dinner (actually I did not have), snack (always, at least twice a day).
Seems like it always has to stay in a terrible level for a while, until having enough. That realization has to come from yourself, yeah, there can be people saying, that something has to change. But the decision maker is you, not anyone else.
I got enough with my unhealthy way of living and decided to first get a meal plan.
After the first meal plan, I decided to get a second one.
AND I also made the decision, that I need to get rid of sugar. I had to. I had enough, and I was desperate.
That is a change within a month. The one month time I decided to quit eating sugar as a daily basis (crazy that I actually was in that situation).
You know what was my favorite sweet thing at home (in Finland)?
If you know what suede pieces (mokkapalat in Finnish) are, you must know the topping on that one? The very best topping, full of calories and unnecessary shit.
Basically, it only includes icing sugar, a little bit of coffee, cocoa, and butter. That is what you should put as topping to the suede pieces itself - BUT, I realized it was a perfect dessert just like that.
I am not proud of that. No way.
But I just needed to tell it, because it tells how much addicted to sugar and sweet stuff I have been. Still am.
In fact, I am afraid that if I eat now one chocolate, that I will just start eating as I used to before.
That is why when my parents bring me chocolate from Finland (the chocolate I specifically asked them to bring), I will make a deal with myself, that I only eat once in a week. After Christmas. During Christmas maybe little more - after all, that is the idea of Christmas. Eat a lot. And enjoy time with family. ;)
How are my studies and work status?
In 2018 I finished all of my rest courses, I even had few extra courses in sports stuff; thinking why did I choose to be a competitive level athlete, what it brings to me, and how I would explain it to someone who has not chosen the same route. Deep, but important thinking. Also had the opportunity to see what kind of economic level Finnish Olympic Committee has - which athletes get the biggest money and support... Interesting indeed.
So I definitely had some interesting courses.
I also started my thesis. Changed the topic a month ago. And well, there is not much more to say about it at the moment.
As about work, I completed both internships in one place. The reason I actually traveled to Australia.
And I definitely loved my internship, and would recommend it to anyone! :)
With studies, I basically only have thesis left.
So if I would just start writing it (and stop writing this), I would graduate earlier. But how would it be fun? Isn't it always a little more fun, and exciting to leave everything to the last minute? ;D
Yeah, I am not trying to do that. I just do not have writing motivation.
My health. The topic I hate talking about most, but also the reason I started this blog this year. To bring the truth to the world about living with chronic pain, and to be able to express my own feelings about it all. It is not easy, but it is not the most terrible either, and the world needs more awareness about it.
As I wrote before, the examinations with my back continued until May.
June I was ready to start over.
August, I had some very weird, never explained hospitalization and again examinations (not because of my back though). Still, until this day, I have no idea what it was. The only thing I know is, that it was not only a stress, and it was not in my head. The pain was real, but I have no idea what it was.
Maybe the decision of cutting off sugar was also partly because of those August health issues. As basically in September, I had my first meal plan.
Again, the pictures below will tell more than a thousand words how much having a meal plan, and meal prepping has made me feel better and has changed my body.
As you see, there has been some changes in my body. Even though I was not able to see those changes before I compared the pictures together. The reason why it is important to take transformation pics, even though the idea of taking the pics might not be the most pleasant - not for me at least.
And yes, of course, during the first 6 months, and also during my time in Australia, I have had some pretty bad flare-ups with my back. But before coming here, I let the flare-up put me down. Now I have started to learn to fight. Trying to stay positive even during the flare-up - it does not always work out, because I still hate the pain and the idea how much it has taken away from me. And always when the flare comes, I feel like the pain wins again - again something I cannot do.
It is hard mentally, but I have always survived, I have learned to talk with people about the pain, during the pain. I have learned to ask help. Not always, but at least sometimes. I know, that no one is meant to survive alone, everyone needs people around.
I have learned so much about me, my pain, my abilities, and so much more.
I never thought that I would spend the rest of the year from June in Australia.
I never thought, that getting back to weightlifting, and getting some great personal bests, would be possible so soon.
I actually did not think, that it would be possible to gain my training motivation back just by doing something else than my own sports. I thought it would not be possible, but it was, and it is.
I am thankful for every person who has helped me to get where I am today.
For all those new people in my life, who I met in 2018. And for all those my old peeps, who I love and miss more than anything! <3
The year 2019 will hopefully be even more amazing! ;)
Now this blogger will put a blog into silent mode for a couple of weeks, and return back in January.
If you want to know how my holiday is going, just follow me on Instagram, where I will try to share at least one picture in a day. :)
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year everyone! :*
It is time to recall what happened in 2018.
Sports
My back problem basically destroyed all the sportive dreams I had for the year 2018.The dream, that I would throw at least 50m and compete in Finnish Championships was a totally realistic dream, as well as my dream to get a blue belt in Taekwon-Do.
But because of my back issue, my dreams never came true. And it all put me down so much, that I started to live a very unhealthy life. More about that later.
Since I was not able to do what I would have wanted to do, I decided to do something else.
I tried new sports, I even went to cross-country skiing after not doing it for over 10 years. I did some running (yeah, really), and I also did some coaching in TKD - and maybe involved myself a little too much in that one.
Traveling
My year literally started with traveling.Within the first 4 months, I visited 3 different countries; one new continent, two new countries and one where I have been before. All traveling with friends.
January: Krakow, Poland.
March: Berlin, Germany. - Not only a travel, but actually visiting the travel fairs, so it was studying trip.
April: New York, US.
In some ways crazy to think, that this means that in 2018 I have traveled to 4 new countries.
June: Australia.
December: New Zealand.
Friends
I spent a lot of time with my friends.A lot. Because suddenly I did not have daily training, so I had time.
I even met my online friend after just talking via the internet for 6 years. After all those years we finally met in Tallinn, Estonia. Sadly, we only had a couple of days, but I am sure we will meet again.
At the same time, I also met my friend who I have not seen for years!
Crazy decisions with life-changing impact
The year 2018 involved a lot of crazy decisions.One was the decision to travel to NYC, it was literally one of those "oh
The second, the even bigger decision was to decline a job offer from my dream job, and instead of that travel to Australia. Who does that? I often thought like that, but definitely the best decision I have ever made.
Here I made that freaking awesome crazy decision to participate 8-week challenge at the nearby gym. That definitely was just a start to change my life. After that came the 10-week challenge, of course, I had to participate that one as well.
Oh did I mention, that one day I just out of nowhere decided to walk 40km in one day?
It just made me realize, that anything is possible.
It is possible to decide, that I am going to walk until I reach the destination, no matter how long it takes.
It is possible to run the last 3km to home because it was getting dark, even though my legs were hurting so freaking much.
Anything is possible if you believe in yourself.
Back on track
Maybe a little misleading title, as I am not back in hammer throw nor Taekwon-Do.BUT, in fact, I have done some nice little hammer throw drills at the gym. Good to know, that I have not totally forgotten how to do turns etc.
But what I mean with being back on track is, that as probably most already know, I was not able to do almost any sports until June.
This was not only lack of motivation and laziness, but this was also a rule from my doctor and physiotherapist.
I had to take a break, from all sports, to see if my back pain is the result of my sports or not. Obviously, it is not, but I did not know that back then, so we had to try everything.
So basically I started from zero in June. Physically and mentally. My motivation was zero, and also my physical levels were also nonexistent.
What about my eating habits? Haha, a big joke. Huge joke.
I had a breakfast (sometimes), a lunch (sometimes), dinner (actually I did not have), snack (always, at least twice a day).
Seems like it always has to stay in a terrible level for a while, until having enough. That realization has to come from yourself, yeah, there can be people saying, that something has to change. But the decision maker is you, not anyone else.
I got enough with my unhealthy way of living and decided to first get a meal plan.
After the first meal plan, I decided to get a second one.
AND I also made the decision, that I need to get rid of sugar. I had to. I had enough, and I was desperate.
No more sugar
What happens after cutting off sugar and start to eat healthier? I think the picture below tells more than a thousand words.
That is a change within a month. The one month time I decided to quit eating sugar as a daily basis (crazy that I actually was in that situation).
You know what was my favorite sweet thing at home (in Finland)?
If you know what suede pieces (mokkapalat in Finnish) are, you must know the topping on that one? The very best topping, full of calories and unnecessary shit.
Basically, it only includes icing sugar, a little bit of coffee, cocoa, and butter. That is what you should put as topping to the suede pieces itself - BUT, I realized it was a perfect dessert just like that.
I am not proud of that. No way.
But I just needed to tell it, because it tells how much addicted to sugar and sweet stuff I have been. Still am.
In fact, I am afraid that if I eat now one chocolate, that I will just start eating as I used to before.
That is why when my parents bring me chocolate from Finland (the chocolate I specifically asked them to bring), I will make a deal with myself, that I only eat once in a week. After Christmas. During Christmas maybe little more - after all, that is the idea of Christmas. Eat a lot. And enjoy time with family. ;)
Studies & Work
One more thing.How are my studies and work status?
In 2018 I finished all of my rest courses, I even had few extra courses in sports stuff; thinking why did I choose to be a competitive level athlete, what it brings to me, and how I would explain it to someone who has not chosen the same route. Deep, but important thinking. Also had the opportunity to see what kind of economic level Finnish Olympic Committee has - which athletes get the biggest money and support... Interesting indeed.
So I definitely had some interesting courses.
I also started my thesis. Changed the topic a month ago. And well, there is not much more to say about it at the moment.
As about work, I completed both internships in one place. The reason I actually traveled to Australia.
And I definitely loved my internship, and would recommend it to anyone! :)
With studies, I basically only have thesis left.
So if I would just start writing it (and stop writing this), I would graduate earlier. But how would it be fun? Isn't it always a little more fun, and exciting to leave everything to the last minute? ;D
Yeah, I am not trying to do that. I just do not have writing motivation.
Health
Okay, I promise, this is the last one.My health. The topic I hate talking about most, but also the reason I started this blog this year. To bring the truth to the world about living with chronic pain, and to be able to express my own feelings about it all. It is not easy, but it is not the most terrible either, and the world needs more awareness about it.
As I wrote before, the examinations with my back continued until May.
June I was ready to start over.
August, I had some very weird, never explained hospitalization and again examinations (not because of my back though). Still, until this day, I have no idea what it was. The only thing I know is, that it was not only a stress, and it was not in my head. The pain was real, but I have no idea what it was.
Maybe the decision of cutting off sugar was also partly because of those August health issues. As basically in September, I had my first meal plan.
Again, the pictures below will tell more than a thousand words how much having a meal plan, and meal prepping has made me feel better and has changed my body.
As you see, there has been some changes in my body. Even though I was not able to see those changes before I compared the pictures together. The reason why it is important to take transformation pics, even though the idea of taking the pics might not be the most pleasant - not for me at least.
And yes, of course, during the first 6 months, and also during my time in Australia, I have had some pretty bad flare-ups with my back. But before coming here, I let the flare-up put me down. Now I have started to learn to fight. Trying to stay positive even during the flare-up - it does not always work out, because I still hate the pain and the idea how much it has taken away from me. And always when the flare comes, I feel like the pain wins again - again something I cannot do.
It is hard mentally, but I have always survived, I have learned to talk with people about the pain, during the pain. I have learned to ask help. Not always, but at least sometimes. I know, that no one is meant to survive alone, everyone needs people around.
I have learned so much about me, my pain, my abilities, and so much more.
In conclusion
After all, the year 2018 turned out to be something amazing!I never thought that I would spend the rest of the year from June in Australia.
I never thought, that getting back to weightlifting, and getting some great personal bests, would be possible so soon.
I actually did not think, that it would be possible to gain my training motivation back just by doing something else than my own sports. I thought it would not be possible, but it was, and it is.
I am thankful for every person who has helped me to get where I am today.
For all those new people in my life, who I met in 2018. And for all those my old peeps, who I love and miss more than anything! <3
The year 2019 will hopefully be even more amazing! ;)
Now this blogger will put a blog into silent mode for a couple of weeks, and return back in January.
If you want to know how my holiday is going, just follow me on Instagram, where I will try to share at least one picture in a day. :)
Merry Christmas, and Happy New Year everyone! :*
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