Road Back On Track

You think mental illness is all about sleeping 24/7? Crying for no reason? Just being negative and unhappy? You think it is about not having the energy to do anything and just laying on the bed, miserable. It is not. Mental illness(es) is a wide concept, where symptoms vary from person to person. Some people, someone like me, actually gets emotion spikes, where one week I have super energetic days (not in a good way), those days when I do not really care about anything, I just need to move all the time. Cannot stop, it is just something I must do, going from place a to b, and from b to c, and from there maybe from c to d before I can get back to the place a. Going for a run middle of the night? Yeah, why not. Or going to run when it is raining and dark? Yeah, what would be a better time to do so? Getting to the gym at 4am and being out somewhere until 10pm with no sleep? Yeah, no problem at all. Speeding on the road and doing so risking your own life? Yeah, who car

So how does it feel like to lose hope? To lose the willpower to live? To feel too tired to get up in the morning? To just feel exhausted? It has been a few months since my last post (in fact more than just a few months). I could list probably hundreds of different reasons why I have not posted anything. But there is just one real reason, and it is, taking care of my mental health. While writing has always been my way to tell about everything, I realized that all my thoughts were so messed up in my mind, that writing was literally impossible. I even had a short break from social media, because I just did not know what to write. And I also had to think about what I want to share, and what I want to keep to myself. For a short time, I thought I will turn my Instagram to private and not post about everything. But then I realized, that it helps me, and maybe it could help someone else as well. Getting diagnosed At the end of September, I was diagnosed with major depression , alon