Road Back On Track

Explaining what chronic pain means to me is not an easy task. It is not easy to share things like this, not even with other chronic pain sufferers, and even harder with those who do not have chronic pain. If you are one of those lucky ones without chronic pain or chronic illness, please stay with me, I am trying to open up here (and people who know me knows, that I do not open up easily). And as said before, it is not an easy thing to do, so if something does not make sense - do not even bother Googling it, because you will not find my feelings from there - read it again, think more deeply, and if it still does not make sense, just skip it. Or send me a message, throw me a comment or whatever. You can even try to send me smoke signals - might take a couple of times to find the right wind direction, etc, but never give up, right? ;) #throwback I did not born with chronic pain. I think that is not even possible. I was a healthy baby. And I was a healthy kid until I started trac

"I am fine." So damn easy sentence, but do I really mean it when I say or write it? I do, in some ways I do. At the same time, I do not. I do not know how I could explain what this all is about, because at the same time I am fine, but on the other hand, I am very far from being fine. But sometimes I feel like I have to be fine, even though it would mean lying (to myself, and to others) how I actually feel. And as said, it is impossible to explain to anyone, how can I be fine and not fine at the same time. Especially as I do not understand it either. "I would not recommend returning back to hammer throw." "Hammer throw is probably the cause of your issue in the first place." "Returning to it, will not make this go away. It will probably just make it worse with all the twisting."  I hear these all the time. Whenever I see a new doctor, I ask if I have the possibility to get back to hammer throw. And I always get the same answer. T