Motivation during setback

It is not easy to keep the motivation alive when there is a setback. Especially if there have been a lot of setbacks lately.
I have had times when my motivation has been round zero, but somehow it has been possible to find the motivation again. It needs only one good thing to start building the motivation back piece by piece.

But during the time when the motivation is still growing back, it is also super easy to lose the track.
And when the growing part is still growing, just one small thing can change the route completely. It is easy to lose the whole motivation again, especially if there is not yet the real new passion for doing it.

It will not get easy


Experiencing setback will never get easy.
Having to rush to the ER, will never get easy
Explaining the unbearable pain to doctors will never get easy.
You might think, that people with chronic pain get used to it, and yes, in some ways you are right. But at the moment the pain gets worse for a longer period, and/or is accompanied with new symptoms, it is not the same anymore.

I always try to stay positive when I experience something unplanned.
And it is true, that all my setbacks have made me stronger, and have made me realize, that it does not last forever. Which means, that I might tolerate new setback a bit better, than those who have never had any. I do not necessarily see it as the end of the world anymore, I do not see it as my all dreams will be flushed away. It is a setback, and those will happen.

Doubts

But at the same time when I am trying to stay positive and super calm, from inside I am losing my shit.
I forget my healthy lifestyle, I start to have more those "why I am even trying" and "of course this happens again" thoughts. To be honest, I just do not care anymore. I stop caring my perfect little trying to be a healthy lifestyle because at the moment I have the setback, I am not feeling myself.
And no, I do not feel good for eating chocolate, it makes me feel even worse. Not at the moment, but after I have eaten it.

I keep asking myself if I have done something wrong.
If I am the reason for everything.
I simply start to blame myself, and that way just digging myself more deeply into that low motivation hole.



Right now, at this moment, I know, that this setback will go away.
But I still feel bad.
I spent 12h in ER yesterday, they did me tests after tests, I met dozens of doctors and nurses, and even though at the end, they did not find any cause for my pain, they restored my faith in emergency departments. Because in that place I was taken as a human being, not just giving meds, but actually trying to find the cause.
I am still in pain, I have to follow the situation at home for a couple of days, and if it gets worse I have to get back to the hospital. If it does not get worse, good for me, then it has been probably just a bad flare-up.


Not only motivation

My motivation has already starting to become a passion again, so it is not easy to lose the whole motivation. But it does get lower, it still does make me mad.
Right now, I would love to do any training, but I just can not. Not only because I have increased pain, but because I am using my pain medications regularly for a couple days - and those make me super tired, and just exhausted.

I am constantly telling myself, that this will go away. That I will be back soon, that if I just take it easier couple days, I will be back sooner.
It is hard to explain what is going on in my mind right now because everything is kinda mixed.

So I just end this here. Telling that I have the motivation, I want to get back to training, but at the same time, I am so tired of being tired. So tired of being in pain. I am so tired, that my body does not work properly. I would love to have a moment when my body would work normally.

But I just keep smiling, I keep trying to stay positive. Because that is my way to cope with everything. Believing that better days are coming, and hoping that this will not last forever. :)



Just one more question, do I get a refund and new body if I just return this one to somewhere?
And you, without any medical problems, be happy! Live your life, complain less, live in the moment, and be happy to have a healthy body! ;)

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